Wordalicious

Ok now this is just to elucidate on my previous blog. A friend called and asked me to write exactly what I wanted to say or want the world to know or in the friends words ‘what I want the world to feel’

So here goes….

You are born and what the first thing you do? For the first you make your mom cry in pain and the next you cry. The very first thing you do when you feel life is cry.. what is crying? It’s an expression or a response given by our body to anything is bad. Now why would an infant at that very stage of its life cry? Easy it is cuz of pain huh? Think about it what else can it be? Can it its very birth? Can it be the very repentance of being sent to this palace? It is! It is said that the infant years are the most soulful years in a man’s life. Now why would a living person say so, considering that he has his whole life ahead of him.

What happens after birth? The first phase of remorse is over. And now come the never ending remorse.

Starts with going to school learning how to live and the very competition to stay alive. If you have parents you have to live to their expectations. If you have peers you have their self thought expectations in your mind. What do you have to fulfill all that? You have to find ways to achieve it all. What about your expectations? Well, its safe to say you expect from yourself what you see around you it all comes from the peer group and it has been there for forever.

Do you get every thing that you want? Can it be so? All your life you are told that you can get every thing that you want you have to be pragmatic about your needs and desires or you have to work really hard for IT ALL. All next is that you have to chase this dream of getting IT ALL. What all do you do and the success? Once or twice. The time that went by? The days of long stress full planning when you are up and not to mention the night dreaming. The anxiety, the wait the dependence on everyone involved and the uncertainty, cuz life is uncertain RIGHT? And so you got what you were after life is sorted huh? No way!! You still dint get everything. Another dream is conjured or maybe it was in parallel processing. Even so if you managed multitasking and got what you know you wanted then what? You still want more. But the process that got you that? Was it easy? Did it involve sitting on your bed or rather resting when everything was done. Was it so well planned? Were there no failures or re-planning required? And if you dint know that it wont be easy you worse than the infant that cries, knowing only pain.

From the time you were born to the time of death all you are involved in is trying to recreate your life according to your wants and whims and even considering metamorphosis of what you did on your own. Sometimes even blaming your peers and parents for what you are and then again are involved in the constant change. Thereby accepting that what ever you wanted for yourself was not exactly what you wanted. Consoling your self by saying that a lot was learnt from the experience. So now you know exactly what you want? Then that means that it might have the end written on it. Is there?

Now this was the phase of what you wanted for your self. But you are not alone here are you? you have people living with you. You have to consider their life too. So you are also involved in moulding their life too. And that is also not as simple as it is written. Right? It so happens that moulding their life moulds yours too. And considering that you were involved in this process thought about how many others were involved in changing your life, which you were so laboriously working on yourself.

But being an human is not that simple even. We have emotions. What do emotions do?

They determine the state you are in. You feel happy, sad or whatever. You feel so when you get what you want, when you don’t, you even have them for others you know and for those you don’t know. Strange it is but it is so. Right? And as a matter of fact all these emotions add up to what you want which might not really be what you get.

Now what is common to all this life changing experience?

Two things success and failure. And this experience teaches you that success equals happiness and failure sadness. Now count the number of times of each. What do you know that if you are an optimist the number of happy times is more than the ones you felt sad. Otherwise you are classified as a pessimist. Which is BAD. But considering that your wants or needs were only limited to a countable number of life phases the stats might differ if you are an optimist.

Leave your feeling aside what about the work that you had to put in, the constant toiling and the thought process? Was that good? Must be a good experience huh? Would you exchange it for everything minus the work? Surely you will. Cuz you worked so much that you can live it better/easy.

But you don’t believe/understand me right. Now consider this. You remember the stories your granny told you about saints going to the Himalayas for search of the truth. The answer to life. They stayed there for so long mediating searching for god and the answer. But all they came back with were powers to cure people or power to kill all. Now what does it have to do with this piece of crap you are reading? See the thing was that even they realized that there is no answer to life and that death is certain. They realized that life had nothing to offer but was a phase in which you have pass to feel a certain intermittent strokes of happiness. Which you get when you have already have passed the period of the longer lasting sadness or toil. The ones (saints) you praise were the ones that had the cures for disease and all. Why did they do this? Cuz they only could find the ways to make life better out of their sacrifice up in the Himalayas. Also they also realized that the people who not find it pleasant if they told them their true findings. So it was best if they just helped them live easy. The other saints ( will killer powers; the Rakshasas) were bold enough and knew the real way of helping the people out of their misery called life was to end it. And they did so. But people hated them cuz they could never interview the dead. And it always happens you feel bad when you lose something even if it is life. Right?

Even after knowing so much about the labor you would have to go through not to mention the side effects( sadness anxiety etc etc) and the other pains of disease which I did not mention, you still chose to live it for the complete term. And even when you don’t know what a lifetime or your lifetime is. When all you had to do is die. Kill your self and leave it all. But there was a fear a constant a fear that your peers would call you a loser or think of you as person who could not handle, wasn’t brave enough. But GUESS what, you don’t get a medal for living either, no one does, all you get is death. And just to remind you, you won’t be here to feel the wrath of your peer group looking down at you for killing your self. But consider what suicide gives you. It relieves you of the constant pain and suffering you have to go through and you determine your lifetime. Then everything is constant and you are in control even for a small period though but you are. But you are just like any person you call a junkie. You do (live) it feel bad about what you have done (sadness of failure) promise your self that you will never do it again (the experience) and are at it again (in search of the better). So you are an addict. Yes you just are another addict like everyone alive living this, living for just one dream to be better and happy ever after. And after what? Is there another phase after it? You can only get there when you have freed yourself from this addiction. But the question is can you? Are you strong enough to do it? Do you have the will power to quit? No!! Cuz you are still reading. Cuz you are addicted to the thing called life.

We all are.

( and ya i know its long but who asked you to ask me to explain.. fuckers)